So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
