dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
