i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
