Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
