he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
