They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
