piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Your cock deserves a montage
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
