Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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