Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
