windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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