What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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