i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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