Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize