Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
