apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
