I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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