i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
