my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so let's talk penis.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
