I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Someone shit on the floor
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
