even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
