There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
