The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
