You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
