Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he just fucked me for my cheese.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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