Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
