how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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