I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
