the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
