Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
