Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
