What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize