East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
