Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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