Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
