I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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