His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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