Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
