What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
