i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
