it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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