Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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