i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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