It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
