New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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