Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
