Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize