DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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