marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
