Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
