Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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