We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
this just has baby written all over it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
