there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize