Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
