I'm jealous of your bromance
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
