new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
