You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
