well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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