I heard we made out
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
