I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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