Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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