Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to calm my uterus...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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