quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
