the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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