Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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