my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
