ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
