You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
