dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize