Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
