you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
