Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
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