Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
