Porn is love you can see.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
