You're so nebulous sometimes
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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