wat bout pragnant strippers??
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize