god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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