Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
