Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
