how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize