her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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