my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
