drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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